Family Dynamics & How To Avoid Being Swept Up In Them
Are you planning to spend Christmas with family, chosen family, or friends? However you're feeling about the upcoming holiday season—whether you're eagerly anticipating it, feeling a bit hesitant, or somewhere in between—many of us might encounter or feel entangled by family dynamics.
Let's explore a few strategies together to help navigate any potential challenges during the Christmas period. First off, I want to emphasise that when I mention "family," it includes chosen family or close friends, recognising that not everyone spends the holidays with their biological family for various reasons. Secondly, these strategies can be employed in any gathering at any time of year.
Strategies For Navigating Family Dynamics
Realistic Expectations: Recognise that every family has its quirks. Embrace imperfections and set realistic expectations. Accepting these differences can significantly reduce stress levels during the holiday season.
Communication: Address any known difficulties beforehand to prevent misunderstandings when you're together. Clear communication can ease tensions. (For tips on clear communication my previous blog post about having difficult conversations might prove helpful.)
Focus On Any Good Things: Acknowledge any emotions that arise due to unfulfilled expectations in relationships. Allow emotional space to find something positive or appreciable about those relationships. Maybe you find joy in playing games, sharing stories together or a shared activity.
Establish Boundaries: If certain topics or behaviours create tension for you, set healthy boundaries. Politely redirect conversations or take a break from discussions that make you uncomfortable.
Take Breaks if Needed: Grant yourself breaks if things start feeling overwhelming. Schedule moments for yourself before it gets too much. A breather—whether a walk outside or a quiet space—can help decompress.
Identify a Safe Person: Have someone you trust to chat with if things become overwhelming. Whether it's someone at the gathering or someone available through a call or text, having support can be comforting. (If you find yourself struggling, and feeling unsure where to turn, there are organisations who would be happy to hear from you and talk you through your options.)
None of us can control others' behaviour however we can prioritise looking after ourselves, using these strategies, and we can decide for ourselves how best to engage (or not engage) during the festive season.
Group Therapy Can Help Us Untangle Family Dynamics
Have you noticed yourself caught in recurring family dynamics? Do family gatherings leave you puzzled by behaviours you thought you'd outgrown? This happens to many of us when we rejoin our family circles. It's uncomfortable, right?
If you're curious about exploring this further, therapy could be beneficial. While individual therapy is helpful, Group Therapy, especially when examining family dynamics, might offer even more insight.
In Group Therapy, the group often mirrors aspects of our external lives, reflecting dynamics we encounter elsewhere. This includes patterns within our families. Exploring these dynamics within the safety of a group setting can be incredibly valuable. Unlike some family settings where these issues might be ignored, in Group Therapy, they're actively discussed and explored.
Understanding these dynamics can lead to change. Armed with insights from Group Therapy, facing family gatherings like Christmas can feel less daunting. You might find yourself less entangled in old family patterns, which can be a huge relief and result in less emotional baggage post-holiday season.